Trust

I looked at the buildings in front of my house, through the window in my room. As the sunlight sweeped across the earth, giving definitions to buildings which only a few hours back had looked dull and gloomy.
I dreaded the hours that would eventually come by rather than the haunted hours that had gone by.
I was dreading the moment my mother would come to check up on me. My mother whom i had met recently and whom Ive been told repeatedly was the one who took pains to bring me to this god-forsaken life
of mine. This fact alone fills my heart with so much hatred that sometimes i feel like shouting on her. But then ive always been successful in keeping my feelings in check even when other people did those dirty
things to me, never has anyone been able to peek at the darkest depths of my heart -because no one could, perhaps because no one would ever want to.

Someone opened my cabin and i deliberately tucked my face inside the blanket.
' Good morning beta, how are you today', the same voice whom people tell me is that of my mother, asked me. I knew that she was expecting a reply from me; but i didn't feel like saying something to her, didn't
actually knew what to say either but the fact was i was too afraid to do so.
Slowly, i turned over and faced her, i wanted to smile at her the way she was smiling at me, her eyes trying to convey some feeling which i couldn't understand, but sadly i don't remember the last time i had smiled.
My little brother came inside the room and sat down besides me. He touched my hand and said ' goodmorning didi, how are you feeling today'.
I almost jumped at his touch, i usually do when someone touched me. But i liked him, he hadn't harmed me yet but whenever i was alone with him a sudden bout of fear would grip me which i knew was irrelevant but somehow the feeling of being alone with a man inside a cabin was just too much for me to control.
' Take care of her Arav, until i come back'.
My mother told my younger brother, gave my hands a little squeeze, and went out of the cabin. My heartbeats slowly started pounding my chest, the rhythmic motion had transcended into a steady drumming
process. Being alone in a cabin with a man was more dreadful than painful, pain always came later.
Memories that still held on to my brain, after all these years came flooding back. I dont remember much of my life before i was kidnapped and was sold to a man. I actually don't even remember my parents - only the
person who 'bought' me features prominently in my memories. Then as these things are very hazy, later part of my life is crystal clear. The days that i spent in his servitude and those long nights of anguish and pain, those horrid things that they did to me made me a sponge, a shock absorber. People hitting me became a norm until the moment i began dreading human touch, loathing myself and my life.
These days continued till one day, police caught me and put me behind bars with other girls who had their faces covered due to shame, masking their actual identities. I didn't cover my face, because i didn't feel any
guilt, any shame - i actually felt well nothing at all. They dragged us to a van, while people kept flashing bulbs on us.
After many days of consistent interrogation where people asked me about my family and my identity - and finally gave up on me for i knew neither, until one day, my parents - whom i didn't recognise actually,
came in the police station and bailed me out. I didn't refute their claims then, coz i didn't knew how to - because i didn't want to.
Things had changed a lot since then but still i wasn't able to sleep in nights, the approach of night, the gradual reddening of the sky to black sent shivers down my body.
I felt his fingers entwine themselves in mine as he started talking about his school and his teachers - slowly i found myself loosening up, found my other hand feel his face as i felt my eyes moistning up, i started
crying - a new day had begun.

THE END